Love is a door

Love is like a door. And the room that the door leads to could be your mind,body,heart. Anything. When you open your heart to love someone,you show your vulnerabilities. You show your strengths and weaknesses. You show everything about you. When you open a door,you allow someone to come in, to see what your room is and what it holds. When you love someone,you show him/her your all. You let him/her do whatever they want to your heart. To you,you only see the good things that come. However,loving is like a double edged sword. When you love someone,you open your heart and show your vulnerability. Like opening a door,that someone can come in,stab you in the chest,face wherever they want. You can resist the pain,you can resist the person,but there is only so much you can do,just to prolong the inevitable. Love is a double edged sword. So sharpen one side and be wary of the other. Love is like a door,peek through the mini hole,see who's there,before deciding to open it up.

Mega Update 2

Sooooo. I haven't posted in a while. About 4 months? That's what i'd guess. Been busy with exams and all. So yea. Guess that sums up my excuse. But finally,O levels are over,albeit it's been a week since it ended. 

Moving on to the stuff that's been going on since the last post. Uh. I have no idea where to start. Uhm since September(?) it's Been study study study and now it's party party party.lol. Uh. Prom was last Thursday,which was awesome. Sadly enough I did not take pictures or videos so I probably broke the record for not taking pics and shit on prom night. Hmmm. A bunch of pretty ladies and handsome lads of course,but none could compare with me darling sweetheart. Haha,and of course yours truly. Sadly we didn't win prom king and queen but hey,we are each our own kings and queens. Hmmm,ouh yea,wierd as fuck taking the train to fetch her while wearing a blazer and button up shirt. Uh,ouh yea,Wild wild wet(water theme park in singapore) was fun with my girlfriend too. We rode that U shape thingy. Scary as fuck,but so fun. Rode it twice. May never do so again. Hahahahah. Sadly the torpedo was closed :(. But at least the day was well spent with her. Uhm. Can't think of anything else. And I'm pretty lazy to type more. So I guess I'll end it here. Uh. Ouh yea, look out for my new youtube channel ▶️ http://youtu.be/19rCyCLaMVs subscribe and support. More vids coming in. So yea. 

Okay not okay.

Everybody,at any point in time of their lives have to put on a smile to say,"I'm okay" when clearly,it ain't. Literally everyone has been through such a process. It's tough,it's even tougher to pretend that everything is fine so that people don't ask you the same ol' question,"You okay?". Damn people,if something happened,obviously it ain't okay dumbass. Time to change from "You okay?" To "I'm here if you need me". This happened to me today,which was saddening,for me at least. Direct poly admission (DPA) results released today,I was probably the first one to check in my batch. Guess what,didn't get in. Disappointed? Of course. Then Dina and pei Ru checked and both got in,Rp and Np respectively. Happy for them? Of course. Me? Laugh it all off and act like I expected this. Honestly,I didn't. In fact,I thought TP would actually accept me. But then again, it's not that bad given that Dina also went to the same interview I did,but she didn't get into TP. Still bad tho,for me. Laughing it off isn't even the worse part. After that I had to collect my O'level Chinese results. 100% passes,hurray right? Guess what, 80% Cs. Including me. Demoralized,saddened,disappointed. Even tho I never really expected anything for Mt,it was just demoralizing. Guess this is all my fault. Like I always say,expecting is wrong. Could've saved myself the disappointment. Even had to laugh off that one. Nobody,literally nobody found it out of place. Now I feel like I can start acting at Hollywood. Anyway was past is in the past,gotta work hard now I guess. If I'm willing to that is. Haha. Laziness will always be there. 

 I hated today,but I doubt I'll ever remember it.

Update

Soooooooo. I've been busy lately,exams are just around the corner and I've been busy 'prepping'. By prepping I mean playing Monster Hunter on my phone. Haha I am so dead. But really I've started a wee bit revisions so it ain't all bad. Uh,probably won't be blogging a lot for the next few months till O's are done. Uh,yea,this is just an update. FYI nothing major happened. So no worries, I think.haha

Haters are good. Cowardly Haters,are nonsense

This is post solely for Nikki,well,it's more like the reason behind this post. (Don't be jealous Bby,you'll see later) This posts also refers to people who have haters,which probably includes everyone. Haters gonna hate,and they hate whatever you do. But if you look at it differently,honestly,you shouldn't care. In fact,you should be proud. Haters hate on you usually because of jealousy. They're jealous of what you used to have or still have. I'm personally fine with haters,I don't mind'em at all. Because there'll definitely be haters,no matter how good looking,smart and strong you are,there's definitely room for haters. However,haters make you strong,makes you better. That's the only good thing about haters. Here comes the good part: Cowardly Haters. Have ask.fm? Well once you have ask.fm you know what I'm talking about. It's heaven for haters,they can shoot you down,spout nonsense without even being known. But honesty,to those who do such cowardly things,why? Literally,why? I mean,if you're gonna hate on someone,hate him/her IN THE FACE. Don't go hiding yourself and insult them,it's cowardly,it's annoying. C'mon,if someone did the same to you,you wouldn't like it either right? If you tell me why the fuck not? Lemme enlighten you. Why the fuck not. Because it's cowardly,it's being a chicken,it's proving how weak you are in your stand,it shows that you can't man up and it shows you are too timid to stand up for your opinion. My message to all those cowardly haters out there: Stop,just stop. You're not getting anywhere by doing such nonsense. So just stop,it benefits no one and if anything,only ruins your character. Stay strong Nikki. 

Note: this is a pretty lazy post. I know.

Movie Review: How To Train Your Dragon 2

It's been 4 years since How to Train Your Dragon and that was a movie that didn't fail us. It's sequel does no less as it shows Hiccup and Toothless' ever-growing strong bond since they first met while focusing on the main point of the movie: The reunion of Hiccup's family. As it turns out that Hiccup's mom was still alive and actually a Dragon Rider,or savior,herself. However, they're soon to be confronted by a new foe,a madman known as Drago Bloodfist,who controls the dragons through fear,wants to create an entire army of dragons. How will Hiccup face this new threat? Will he be able to stop what's coming?(Of course he will,or will he?) Watch the movie to find out for yourself. Definitely a must watch for fans of the first movie and for people of all ages for it is both touching and cool.

Solitude and Serenity

No matter how socially active you are,no matter how open you can be and no matter how close you are with the people around you,you will, and definitely will,require a time of solitude. A time where you don't want to be around people,you don't want to talk to people,you just suddenly start to hate everyone,or at least everyone you are seeing or would see during that time. Mine,comes from my every alternative day of swimming. A standard timing from 6-7pm,I relieve myself in the swimming pool,while hiding away from harsh reality,a time where I will always find peace with myself,a time where I think (or don't think) and to relax. It has always been a favorite thing to do for me. It is literally the only time where I can stay at peace,relax,find serenity without ever overthinking. The reason is simple: if I overthink I'd die. Literally, by drowning of course. No it has not happened before but it might,then again I usually don't think much,so no biggie. You might find it stupid and think: you'd look like a major retard just floating over there,staying still. Yea sure I entirely agree with you,but when you understand how I feel and when you're in my shoes,you'll know it doesn't matter,not will you give half a fuck. Because it give you the peace and serenity people so very desire yet never attain. I'm lucky to know my place of serenity and solitude,and hopefully people,you'll find yours as well. This was thought out during my solitude timing as well,so yea.

Mega Update: Relationship

Well,it's been forever. Haha,but you guys haven't missed much. In fact,barely anything at all! But nonetheless,things did happen. I got a girl(HURRRAAAAYYYYY) and she is all that I can ever ask for. Every single thing she did,every single cell in her body makes me want to just hug her till I die. Her eyes when they look at me and her hair so smooth, not a day passes without me thinking of her. So far it's been 1 month 2 weeks 3 days 12 hours and 15 mins. Yes I remembered the timing surprisingly enough,haha. But I admit we didn't exactly have a smooth sail,but then again,which couple does? But I still love her no matter what. In what way is she different? She's the only one who gives back to me. Sure girls like Lydia Natalie and Nikki all appreciate me and do stuff for me blah blah blah,but she's gives back to me differently,she treats me like I how treat others,and that's the beauty of it. And I love her so much. Note: we weren't supposed to go public till our first month,but Crescendo was five days after we went 'steady' so we went public then,but no matter,people will find out eventually,and surprisingly enough,Lydia was the last to know and I was reprimanded for that. Hahaha sort of expected it. But hey,my life has never been better since she came around,and all I know is, I will love her now,and forever more. I love you so much Bby, and you know that 

Update : Couples here,gays there and screw everywhere

It's been awhile. A long while. But nothing's been happening so I guess there wasn't much to talk about. But on to updates. This past week was a lot more fruitful then any week before. Well,actually the holiday wasn't that bad. But still. Accidentally meeting up in the morning with Lydia and Nat like almost everyday. Even having late lunch together. I'm not complaining,my wallet is. Emil as well,but only yesterday. I'm broke as fuck now. Today as well,went home with Lydia,only to find out her sadness today. Even 'sacrificed' playing more frisbee for her. She wanted to go home,I was meeting Nikki and the rest. So I guess it's a win-win situation,in a sense. I didn't wanna let her go home alone anyway. So went to meet Nikki and the rest(which I will from this point on refer to as sex maniacs to save time) at Safra for pool only to realize I'm more alone then ever,since Nikki and Kai are a couple and so is Ting Xi and Jia Ying,(entirely expected) so we waited for Luqman before going to Springfield. I felt awkward as fuck going there,I DONT EVEN BELONG THERE. Note we went there for the girls wanted to go for speech day. Went there,awkward as fuck,not much chio bu. Walked a lot as well. Anyway,we slacked there forever till 5-ish before going to Bedok mall. Juliana.whom I've haven't seen in forever and Phyllis(?) joined us. I went home first in case Grandma would start nagging at me. Then we met up again at BBT shop for more sex talk,which surprisingly turned into more serious relationship talks. We asked questions like how many girls/guys you dated,what's our ideal date etc. I guess those questions made me think,A LOT. It was awkward cos I was the only single one there,not counting Jul since she barely said a word and Luqman had Megan. I didn't even have a girlfriend,but I said 3 for pride's sake. I know,it's stupid,but I don't care. Jul was so awkward,I guess she felt weird being among us and she didn't know what to say,hence the serious topics. Haish,while I yearn for love,perhaps the time is not now. And I kept claiming I was a bisexual. Lol. I felt like shit over there,I really did. But can't do nothing bout it. :( 

Update

Haven't done this in a long while. So yea,so far it has been fairly fruitful I guess. Reminded both Lydia and Nat that Emil's birthday is this Friday which both of them forgot. So I went home first while waiting for them to finish their things in school and I needed to go back to fix a bed that was already fixed. And I left my folio in school. *CLAPS* fucking stupid. Didn't even go for coursework (WHEREGOTTIMEEEEEEE). The haze isn't helping since I've been coughing like a maniac since Monday. So we went to Bedok mall and on the way I saw Nikki and vice versa,exchanged Hi and went on our way,wonder why I never asked what she was doing there. Anyway.Lydia had this bun hairstyle which was quite distracting,I entirely prefer her hairstyle in the morning,she looks better. Anywho we ate lunch at Pizza Hut at 4.45. Then we talked about random stuff. Most of which I was making fun of. And we bought for Emil a shirt,pants and boxers. YES,boxers. Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day. E-learning then celebrating Emil's birthday and Friday is garang guni day,CIP day. Still coughing though. *coughs*

Summary

Yea well if anyone's reading my blog,which I assume never, guess you've seen the trend of depressive posts so far. Yea well that's sort of the purpose of this blog thing for. Basic life rant which I can't do anywhere else. Mainly because I never like my friends to worry about me,and the fact that it'll attract a lot of questions and attentions and making less obvious stuff more,obvious. While I hope they don't read this blog,I hope they do as well. Because fuck logic. Anywho,this week went okay,nothing good in particular happened,but nothing bad (I guess) happened as well. My days aren't that all exciting and full. Ever. Guess that's the way of life. I can't go out since my parents and grandma's gonna nag at me forever. While I don't blame them,I don't see they're reasons to do so. Meh,who gives a fuck. Tired as fuck everyday,blah blah blah. Done.

Unfairness and hate

You know the phrase 'Life is unfair'. Yea,well it's true and I'm a bloody living example of it. Literally almost 90% of my life have I faced how unfair life can be. Name any occasion and I can tell you I've faced it before. Giving in without any reason,being treated like shit. Well fuck everyone that does that to me. Which is almost everyone I know. But I just gotta live with it. Also,I hate myself a lot. I hate that I never have balls to do things. I hate that I'm lazy and even lazier to do shit about it. I hate that I never have any luck I love. Fuck I hate everything. I only love gunpla,TV shows and stuff I'm too lazy to type. 

Hit that doesn't hurt

Soooooooo. As I predicted,it did happen. Kinda could tell. Anyway. So yea,they got back together(again) and it was like a hit that didn't hurt. I was fine with it,it's not like it didn't happen before,and besides,me and K(the guy) are good friends. Sure I admit some feelings started but then again,it happens when you suddenly hang around someone so much. Like I said,I probably ain't meant for love right now. I believe everything that's meant to happen,will happen,at some time in some place. Meh. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Just sayin'.

Fair share.

Fuck. That started off well. You know what hurts? A love you always see yet can never have. That sucks. BIG TIME. Everytime I feel it's within my hand,it just flies into a different hand,and all I can do is just sit there and watch it happen. Worst still,the 'third party' happens to be a great friend. It always feels like I'm never to have love or to be loved. The envy to be like those that have them. Sure you got friends,but honestly,are they even the same? Why can't I be loved for once? Why must I be there for those who do,then castaway till the next time I'll ever be needed? Sure I'm here because I'm obliged to,but where's my fair share? Some things you're meant to have,others, you gotta take. It hurts,but who cares anyway? Like a sweet wrapper,only needed when you want,thrown away when I'm useless. I'm just a nobody wanting to be somebody. Fuck.

Movie Review: Non-stop

A movie that I thought I'd never watch. Not because I don't like it,but because I don't think any of my friends would ask me to. Anyway,Nonstop is a movie about an Air Marshall,Bill (Liam Neeson) who's been threatened by an anonymous to kill a passenger on board the plane for every 20 minutes if he doesn't receive $150 million. So Bill decides to find out who this guy is until the situation decides to turn on him. Now he becomes the scapegoat,for he becomes the strongest suspect on that plane who is believed to be hijacking the plane. Who is threatening Bill? And why? Watch the movie to know more. It's a great movie for everyone and anyone,funny yet serious at the same time,this movie is a 7/10. Sure the plot is good,and it's also one of those few movies that get me on the edge of my seat,but it's pretty hard to catch up on the whole situation,and once you understand,it's already a different scene. Nevertheless a great movie all in all.

More self intro.

And one more thing,actually,it's more like things. I want to intro my self further. Not the basic stuff,the high end deeper me stuff. So basically I'm a really talkative and conceited guy. But if you told that to my parents they'd never believe it. I'm the direct opposite of that at home. Mainly because my family never talks to me a lot and I only gossip with grandma. In school I'm that ridiculous,immature fool who always jokes around,even in serious situations. I've gotten so used to joking around that even being serious becomes a problem. However,I'm also a counsellor (hence the blog name). Not the perfect type. The psychologist type. I enjoy helping others feel happy and knowing that I put a smile on someone's face is enough for me. So why not a counsellor? I guess it has worked out for me a lot since I've grown a lot closer to those who did approach me. Also,because I'm the type that gets along well with almost everyone,it's hard at the same time. I always gotta play the good guy, listening to their complaints about the others and shit like that. Thus I'm stuck in the middle. Those kind are the stuff I hate the most. Next to vegetables of course. Also,I'm a really patient guy. Which is funny because both my parents can't wait for fuck. Guess that's what happens when you're parents contradict everything you've been doing for the past 17 years of your life. And I have a lot of life quotes. Most likely gonna share them here as well. I don't think there's anymore. So yea.

So apparently today is one of those days where I'll blog like mad (heads up). I am really bored as fuck right now. I literally do not know what to do. Normally I would be imagining situations like what would happen if I suddenly raged at Mom when she will scold me. Like half the time I'm daydreaming is about those unreal situations. Quarrels,arguments blah blah blah. Then the are thoughts about decisions,what would happen if I did this,what would happen if I did that and if I did it,could things change for the better or worse? Like my 'N' levels. I was disappointed as fuck when I saw my grades. I really wanted to go PFP,but I had to suck it up and look happy. I can't show the rest who are already sad (or happy) and ruin the mood. Mainly because everyone in my stream knows me and vice versa. Even up till this very point I regret not studying harder. But hey, what's the point now? Just move on and study hard and pray and hope this years flies by. Seeing my friends have so much free time,SUCKS. Not being able to spend time with them while they can really destroys me from within. That feeling sucks man,it really does. I just like to think that they feel the same but still know that they gotta have fun just because I want them too. Like how we went to Pizza Hut to eat and they forgot my order,so I forced my friends to eat. I'm nice like that (NARCISSIST!!!) I know. 

I'm just that type of friend who doesn't like people to sacrifice so much for me,even though I do for them.

Oh! And uh,I might start treating this as an unlimited word limit tweet space. So beware for vulgarities and random rants and shit. 

Daily Life #1

Well,I guess it's a start. Nobody's gonna read this anyway. Went out for pool with my primary school friends,which technically I've known most if not all of them my entire life. They are closer than family to me,god I love them. I am their happy pills,I suppose they are to mine. But I'm quite a happy person in general. So we pooled for like 3 hours straight which actually felt like a bare hour. Saw a couple of classmates as well! Came back and saw Dad with a black face,which also isn't a surprise given that he never likes anything I do in the first place. Mum was busy cooking and I went for a quick swim. Came back in time for dinner and bam! I'm here blogging. So I guess that's it? I'm never good at ending these stuff.

Day 1

First timer,so gimme a break,haha. So yea. Wonder why so many people do this blog stuff,so I'm trying it out myself. So self intro,I'm just a normal guy leading a normal life,17 I believe this year and I have swwaaaaggggggg. (note:it's a joke) Stuff that I'll do here: life advice ,reviews of somethings maybe? And daily life updates I guess.