Sunday, 19 July 2015

I am only as naive as the lies you feed me

Time and time again you have shown me the err in myself. This time showing how naive and blind I was, to hold you against your word. To have so truly believed that you meant every word you said back then. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
I have never stopped blaming myself for what I did, more than you think, and more than you'll ever know. You think I am a heartless, evil and immature dickhead and I don't ever blame you for that.
I see where you are coming from and given your character, it'll be hard to have seen it any other way. What's worst is after so long, I cannot for the life of me see what the point I was trying to get across through those actions. I remember each and every word you said, even up to this very second, every conversation we had, every letter you spelled. Believing everything only to realise that all of them are lies, doubting every time you said 'I never'. The phrase "Love is blind"  is an understatement for what it truly is. You don't just become blind to everything around you, your mind is instantly blind as well. You won't ever doubt a word she says, you won't think twice about her actions. All you'll ever care is if she ever whispers the words 'I love you' ever again. Maybe it is just me, being a complete desperado in love. You know what? Even knowing she went back on her word, even knowing she lied straight to me face, I still can't blame her. My wrong outweighs all of hers. It could again just be me, but then again, who'd give a fuck. As far as I'm concerned, I am alone.

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