Once and for all.

So something major in my life happened to me recently. Basically my 11 month relationship ended. But that was like 3 months ago. I guess things just didn't work out between us. As per any other relationship that happens at such an early age. But no matter. I won't get into detail about that matter,all I'll say is that things didn't end off well and shit happened thereafter (after effects, if you will). The point of this post is relevant to that though. Anywho, let's get to it. 

As mentioned earlier, the aftereffects are starting to come up( admittedly my fault$ though I think things are starting to get a little better. Could just be my own self delusion. I just wanna say I am completely over that relationship. Her? Not so much. I do miss her and us though. But I saw this tweet that said "It's not the relationship or the person you miss but the memories" and I was like true af. But as time goes by I feel as if I truly do miss her. I'll be lying if I said I didn't want her back and I am still trying even though I know the outcome. It's tough fighting for something. It's even tougher knowing that the outcome is inevitable. I fight for it anyway. There's no hard reason for it. It is simply what I want. She won't see this (she probably never will) but as hard as it is for me to say, I literally did not know what to do with my life when she left. I was left with pretty much nothing to live for,then to see myself through what I started(Studies). It's been tough. But when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Maybe I can get through to her(PFT) maybe my efforts will be in vain. But it's a risk I'm willing to take. What is probably hardest is having to face her anger towards me. And knowing that eliminates any reason I have to be mad or angry at her because it is that much more valid then mine will ever be. I guess it's just that way things work. I'll clarify it here and now. I miss you, I want you back. And if I'm gonna have to start from ground zero I will. 

                  Maybe one day.